Monday, May 2, 2011

Monday Madness

After a tiring weekend, I rested & now feel refreshed.  So glad I did NOTHING on Sunday.  That's what happens when you mow all morning without sunscreen...I had to sleep off the sunburn--which is something I'm not used to dealing with because I normally don't burn.  Ugh!  Thank God my hubby got the kitchen in order so I don't feel so overwhelmed, which I have lately.

I feel much better today.  Partly because I am getting more things done due to not feeling overwhelmed anymore & partly I think because I started taking Evening Primrose Oil again...I take 2-3 a day & it seems to be helping me with all the hormones.  The good thing is that this does not effect baby like antidepressant have been found to, so bonus!  I am taking a couple other herbal helpers (but not St. John's Wort, that's the only one you can't take while breastfeeding).  So, I think its helping me some too.  I don't feel like my emotions are getting the better of me, nor do  I feel easily irritated. 

Its madness without some way to calm yourself.  I found out lack of family support (meaning they are near by to help) and being at home with a fussy baby all contribute to mood issues that can lead to postpartum depression.  Booo,....I'm going to combat it BEFORE its full blown depression.  I am going to continue to remind myself that I can do this & to take the supplements.  Plus, eating well helps.  Thank God baby is starting to be more settled, though we still have "trouble" days (like today & yesterday).  We get through them & move on.

Its not easy reworking your schedule around a new little one, but I'm finding that slinging him some of the day is helping & then also giving him some "baby alone" time helps him too.  Who knew!  I'm finding that being overly worried something is going to happen to him & being like a hawk always hovering isn't healthy for me or baby....First, I don't get done what I need & I don't take care of myself.  Second, my baby can move his head out of the way & he is strong...  Third, baby will cry out or just plain cry if he needs something & there is nothing wrong with letting him express a need with noise, so long as I don't ignore it too long & I answer with what he needs.  Sometimes that is just me being there for a bit.  :)

Its like this intricate dance you know nothing about that you have to figure out the steps to as it morphs & changes during the song.  Sometimes you get it & it all works out nice & sometimes you are tripping over your feet trying to figure out what to do.  In the end, you have a joyous & fun time figuring out the whole mess of the dance and its OK because no one expects you to completely figure out something like that right off the bat....You do find patterns & some consistency once you have heard the song enough that you can recognize when the next steps are going to change, sometimes you even know way ahead & are prepared, but other times the change is so quick you can't keep up even after you feel you know what's going on.  And that's just how it is with a baby. 

Speaking of that, my dear son is now awake & crying out for me...time to go "dance!"