Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wonderfully Funny Wednesdays

Well, things are going well today.  I got three loads of laundry done (still got more to do though) but put away all the clothes from trips & the laundry today!!  Yay, my room looks nice.  I went through my clothes--it took through today to do this & have a huge garbage bag full of clothes that either I don't wear or don't fit.  The closet looks so much better!  Got rid of shoes too!  Makes for a great hump day!

Speaking of Wednesdays....its time for a good joke or funny story.  Let's see what  I've found:

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week. 

A smart wife will always ask her husband's opinion - after she has made up her mind.

My wife has a terrible memory - she never forgets anything.

My wife wanted to see the world, so I bought an atlas.

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.

Fred: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?
Joe: Seen one? I married one!

I don't need to buy an encyclopedia - my wife knows everything.

Hope this lightened the day for did for me!

Have a great Wednesday & don't forget--Friday is almost here!